you were not yet divorced.
we got into the biggest fight,
and you told me what you thought.
i yelled at you so hard,
tears came out my mouth.
but you just got in your car,
and worried about yourself.
i told майка i couldn't breath,
hoping someone would care.
but of course she deserted me,
i was so fucking scared.
i grabbed her by the buttons on her shirt,
just when she was leaving,
devastated, i look up at her,
begging, loving, needing.
but i stood in public, alone
emotionally obliterated
with nowhere to call home,
embarrassed and intimidated.
then suddenly i'm in bed,
soaking in rejection.
i run to there bedroom,
desperate for affection.
"why don't you love me!?"
i screamed like a beast.
"its YOUR fault i'm not free,
YOU DID THIS TO ME."
but nothing came out,
your cowardice mouth.
you sat there like a stone.
no regard to the pain i felt,
i begged you to explain,
but you did not utter a sound.
how can i sleep, when my hearts' in so much pain?
how could you exist, when your's could not be found?
so i crawled back to bed ready to die,
feeling like a fucking mistake,
when through my wall, i hear you cry.
and i feel you accept your fate.
i think deep down you know,
you should have dealt with your problems.
before they took control,
and you could no longer solve them.
you know karmas got you,
so you have admitted defeat.
you know exactly what you've put me through,
and that its way to late to retreat.
life is just to hard,
when you worry about me,
because your convinced you cant make up,
for the damage your life has done to me.
so you dismiss me constantly,
just wishing i would shut up.
claiming "i don't know what you want from me?"telling me to "grow up."
your just not man enough to face the truth
and i'm truly sorry for that,
because i cant keep hoping for something from you,
that i've never really had.
i realise all i can do is walk away,
or i'm going to die here.
i'm not prepared to share your fate,
your free now, to live your life in fear.
so have another drink.
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